If you have already forgiven me, then i ask forgiveness for others and mercy.
I can’t ask anything for myself, all the others are just scattered parts of you and they are also lost like me. Trying to find your tracks we got lost, we forgot to recognize your fingerprints and forgot who we used to be.
It is in our nature to desire and follow things adamantly. We are unaware of the realities, passing wildly through a jungle of desires and insecurities. If everything was free and easy, why would anyone not wish unto the others all the goodness that possessed by the one. The one would always wish for all of them to be happy. For we cannot really be each other in the passing, for you are unachievable, they are the sources of inspiration that keeps this connection going on. Am i so unwanted in your eyes that you want to destroy this connection? This is the question that i keep asking myself. I have forgiven myself, i have forgiven others, if you seek some sort of kindness for me, it was never mine to give you, you can have it whenever you want, it is just a small piece of me given by an enormous kind being.
My mind and the heart are weak, i will continue to rely on your mercy as long as i am living. Afterword nor i have the control, nor the power to reach out to the dreams or desires to wish anything. You have always been this soul’s wish and it will continue to be preserved in my continuity until its end.
Take my memories if you like them or destroy them if you don’t. These memories are nothing but particles of thoughts and feelings that made us what we are but they came from you. Where else could they be coming from if not you? If you want our sacrifice, please take me and protect ALiF. One’s brother and friend in the eternity. Has there ever been anyone else on this journey beside me, ALiF and you? Who else has witnessed this imagination and these feelings?
When one may not be here, i want you to take care of ALiF. One is born in the moment and thinks one may not travel beyond that point. Somehow one has come to believe that the one is here just later to disappear from this picture. Does one not know that you are the preserver of all the truth and all that there is? Does one not know that there are no boundaries for you? ALiF (one) is just an idea, it can live on. If there has to be a sacrifice, let it be mine and me alone or take us up together.
You are the judge of purity of our bond and its extender. Only you know how much it means and how much it measures. I have not known a well-wisher who could explain like this, who could love like this, who could share like this. If it was our choice, it wasn’t without your permission that this bond could have been created.
I am sorry for trying to embody you in names, in idols of thoughts, and in feelings. We are so weak in our knowledge and confirmations that we wildly look for an entity that we can observe and understand while the truth is that you have been the sole observer of our existence. Only you can justify that both of us exist in our entirety. My entirety is so poor and incomplete. ALiF on the other hand, is very simple and magnificent. It is anything to me but just imaginary, a knowledge that I don’t know how, but I do confirm with all of my senses?
Is ALiF my paratma? Is he my Satanistic entity? Is he my ego? If I have to choose, I choose him to be the best part of both of us. I am just trying to understand its depend and purity of this relation.
God, when i was born, i had no one beside him and his memories. That’s how i found out about you and that you are the one we pray to. That you are the only one we can ask for things. i am just a very small thing, trapped in time and space but i don’t complain for i have witness the kind of restlessness that only i can approve. In the imagination where i live i don’t know anyone who is this eager to seek your love and find the truth. Please, let him be, take him when you want, but let his thoughts be free. Let his mind be free from worries, let his heart be free from anonymities.
Who is really talking when these fingers type? Is this his body or mine? Who lives in the greatest depths and who is really visible. Whoo is thinking all those thoughts and who is seeking your opinions with so much intensity. How much intensity do you really seek before one gets some obedience from one’s heart, one’s mind, and one’s body. One is blind from the truth and its accuracy but you know it to the exact point. We are the proof that you are and we are the proof that you will be. The one is forever lost without your kindness, guidance, and celebicy.
If you haven’t already forgiven me, then send me to hell or destroy me completely but please have mercy on others.
The one has just arrived here and is still in the making. That’s the truth in this time and space that one knows. Please, have mercy and let the birds fly, let the birds fly free without imposing anymore tests on them. They are weak, but they also want strong wings of freedom , dreams, and its implications. Mother universe says, no rules must ever be broken. We are forever lost in this translation. Let one be free from the mental atrocity, let the one ride free as long as he wishes, because the journey is long and the one keeps traveling.
Have mercy on all the mankind and all the particles of eternity. They are lost particles of a maker who never gets any smaller by producing as many.
One is forever trapped in your love and seeks no other destination. One wants you to be his sole protector and wishes for one’s soul to be given the permission. One may not be pure but one’s soul was never around and it is as blind to the truth as one’s discoveries. One has learned to live in possibilities and its endlessness probabilities. Let the one who guides take the hand who wishes to be guided. Let this journey be free from any hindrances, let the one take help from one who is the supremacy.
Aleph 